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dangeress:
“ ON DAPHNE’S SEXUALITY.
“ I. YOU’RE CRUSHING: Daphne, by nature, grew up with romantic idealizations. However, because of a) society as a whole having a future with a man being the romantic ideal for a young girl and b) her mom and dad’s...

dangeress:

ON DAPHNE’S SEXUALITY. 

I. YOU’RE CRUSHING: Daphne, by nature, grew up with romantic idealizations. However, because of a) society as a whole having a future with a man being the romantic ideal for a young girl and b) her mom and dad’s and sister’s constant presence of a romantic sort of relationship ( I articulated that horribly rip ) she grew up with this idea that her fantasy love life would include a guy. Now, she doesn’t know it yet, but Daphne is bisexual. Growing up this way was definitely detrimental ( however, obviously it’s something a lot of bi people –– and people of other sexualities –– also go through ). And it also meant that when she started having crushes on girl, she mistook them as nothing but friendship. Well, that’s not true. She was told they were nothing but friendship. As a kid, Daphne possibly showed more crushing-ness towards girls than boys. Because let’s face it, girls are cute and pretty and guys pull your hair and act like jerks. Daphne definitely had more lasting crushes on girls than guys, but had heteronormativity forced on her through the idea of like “well if he pulls your hair than he likes you” –– although, that never sat well with her. Pull her hair, you’re a shit and you deserve to get hit. Anyways, so yes, because of her crushes being misinterpreted as friendship, that paved the road to stage two… 

II. YOU’RE CONFUSED: And confused doesn’t begin to explain the mess of feelings she has when she starts getting sexual feelings towards girls. It starts innocent enough, but now there’s a want there, a need, a craving. Daydreams of being kissed against a cute quarterback’s car change to fantasies of a girl’s fingers in her hair, of their bodies pressed together. She doesn’t understand –– except she does, but she doesn’t understand how she can feel this way. Is this normal? Can she still have her happy ever after with a girl? In most verses, Daphne’s been in love with Fred since forever, and in those verses, while she’s in love with him, she’s also dealing with her sexual attraction to girls. It’s almost a hindrance really, if she’s dating through high-school, because the opportunity to explore what that means for her is smaller. 

At the same time, this is the period in which Daphne makes some… bad decisions. Having grown up in a culture that fetishizes girl love, and to add to Daphne’s confusion, during some parties, she ends up kissing a few girl, to the enjoyment of some guys. It’s weird because she likes how the kiss feels, but it feels tainted almost by the fact that she had to pretend she was doing it for the guys. Or was she actually doing it for the guys? She doesn’t know, god she doens’t know and it’s driving her crazy not to know. 

In short, this is a very emotionally tumultuous time, when it comes to her sexuality. 

III. YOU’RE INFATUATED: Usually, around college, Daphne is single, and this is where she really starts dating girls. She dates a lesbian, Mae, that she meets in her Women’s Studies class. They only go out on a few dates, because Mae doesn’t want anything serious and would prefer an option relationship. After, by a few months, in her Sophomore year, she gets together with Vivica, a girl who is also bisexual. They’d met once at orientation, but because Daphne wasn’t doing too well keeping her grades up and concentrating, Vivica helped her out and tutored her some. And eventually that led to… Wink wink. 

Depending on if I have a thread going in Daphne’s college verse, and she’s dating someone, the timeline of when she dated Mae and Vivica are switched up a little appropriately. No matter what though, they remain a part of her experience, and she looks back at their relationship ( Vivica, especially, since they’d fallen in love ) fondly. 

In any case, college isn’t the best time for Daphne, because she’s pretty lost in life without Mystery Inc and trying to find her footing. Eventually, she decides to go solo in the mystery biz and drops out, but asides from that, college is great because it really allowed Daphne to figure out her sexuality in a place that was liberated and patient. 

IV. YOU’RE IN LOVE: As a grown-up ( a term used very loosely ) Daphne is much more secure in her sexuality. She doesn’t second guess it. When she thinks of a happy ever after, the person beside her is always the one she’s dating. She no longer fantasizes about the gender, and honestly, at this point, she tries not to fantasize too much on any person in general, because at the end of the day, she has friends, and she has herself. And whenever anybody asks her, she’s more than proud to proclaim that she’s a confident bi woman that doesn’t need a single man –– or woman. 

UPDATED: 12.08.17

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