S

rpmemesforever:

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒 ! ( part one )

❛  specificity is good, but that’s over the top.  ❜
❛  small price to pay for the bone structure of my face.  ❜
❛  we aren’t having a lot of S-E-X  right now.  ❜
❛  oh my god, can you please just listen to me for one damn minute ?!  ❜
❛  what happened to us ?  ❜
❛  are you out of your mind ?  ❜
❛  move it, you little weenie !  ❜
❛  because it’s hella shady, i told you this was a bad idea !  ❜
❛  i mostly blame him. he should know better  —   you’re obviously stupid.  ❜
❛  i handled it   —   because you couldn’t.  ❜
❛  what ?   i’m gonna shoot you myself !  ❜
❛  all this right here ?   is all the security you need, baby.  ❜
❛  my, what a helpful contribution   —    let me just grab my time machine !  ❜
❛  and you don’t always have to fact check me, okay ?  ❜
❛  i smell like booze and crime.  ❜
❛  oh, do i look upset ?   why would i be upset ?  ❜
❛  because every man in the world thinks he can do whatever he wants whenever he wants.  ❜
❛  you think you’re so much better than everyone.  well now, you’re finished. it’s over !  ❜
❛  what am i looking at right now ?   WHAT AM I EVEN LOOKING AT RIGHT NOW ?  ❜
❛  how is hog-tying a man, climbing him 12 feet above the earth, and hiding him in a tree house self-defense ?  ❜
❛  life or death ? i choose death.  GIVE ME DEATH !  ❜
❛  thank you for making me completely humiliate myself for no reason.  ❜
❛  you make these big messes and then you just expect everyone else to clean it up.  ❜
❛  well, they always do the drop at a park in law & order.  ❜
❛  you are an incredible liar.  ❜
❛  this is who we are now ?  ❜
❛  okay, yeah. we’ll just talk about tomorrow   —   when we’re all DEAD !  ❜
❛  when bad things happen to good people, everyone else goes crazy. it’s all over the news and there are all these hashtags and movements.  ❜
❛  because if it could happen to us, it could happen to anyone.  ❜
❛  boy, this is hard to watch.  ❜
❛  i keep thinking about what you said   ––   about being a basic bitch and whatnot.  ❜
❛  yeah. because we all know “girls aren’t funny.”  ❜
❛  there’s always a choice.  ❜
❛  tell me to turn around. please say it.  ❜
❛  ugh. canadians.  ❜
❛  you think we’re some low-hanging fruit, a little payday, a side hustle for ya ?  ❜
❛  alright, well. nice isn’t gonna cut it.  ❜
❛  relax. i’m just gonna scare him a little.  ❜
❛  no, i’m gonna need to hear you say it.  ❜
❛  yay, no drugs in our butts !  ❜
❛  so here’s to going back to normal life.  ❜
❛  in the middle of rush hour traffic, you wanna blow up a car ?  ❜
❛  there is literally nothing in my entire life that is more important to me than you.  ❜
❛  i would just like to say something that i should have said before, which is thank you.  ❜
❛  you know the tradition is jordans over a phone line, right ?  ❜

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